Today is day #18 since I had a sudden stroke while we were on our vacation in Colorado. I wrote a post on August 17 about the frightening ordeal, but I am just now realizing the mental ramifications. My stroke was mild compared to most. I was lucky…no doubt about it.
However, as the neurologist at the hospital said when I mentioned going home…”Do you not realize that you had a STROKE? Think about it. This is a very serious situation.”
“YOU CANNOT GO HOME IMMEDIATELY!”
“We have to put together a plan to keep it from happening again.”
THE POWER OF REALITY HITS HOME…
Some of the realities that have made me feel like there is a stranger inhabiting my own body…
1. I still cannot write with my right hand. I try to print, but a three year old would be much more successful. When I had some lab work completed this morning, I was told by the receptionist to sign in and wait for my name to be called. Are you kidding? I wrote a crooked and not at all legible “Pat”. No last name. No birth date.
2. When I try to walk, I tend to veer severely to the right. It is like my car when the tires are not aligned correctly. Or when the steering wheel needs some heavy handed assistance to work smoothly.
3. I forget about my right hand not working correctly and repeatedly try to hold items. It doesn’t matter how heavy or how light, I won’t make it far without quickly dropping something.
4. I am unbelievably tired…100% of the time. My ability to focus is nearly non-existent. That is the reason that my posts have been so sporadic. I know exactly what I want to write for my post, but I cannot seem to stay with the task for several hours like I could prior to the stroke. This ability should return…I hope.
5. Really…I am not going to mention anything else. I don’t like to sound like I am a pitiful and whining puddle of emotions. Especially when I know good and well that I came out on the positive side compared to the majority of people having strokes. I just need to get my act together and find myself again…because I know that I can!