The combination of zippers and buttons and jeans are getting on my last nerve.
I mean…come on now…is it really necessary for me to figure out a way to fit into skinny jeans and zip them at the same time? Let’s not even mention completing the task of buttoning the button. I could possibly figure out a way to attach the button to the other side with a giant safety pin. I imagine that I would be invited to be on the Shark Tank with such an invention…in sterling silver… of course.
Take a minute and think about the comfort level of zipped and buttoned skinny jeans. If you weigh 110 lbs and do not like chocolate eclairs…you may not even need to consider the comfort level estimator challenge. If you weigh 155 lbs and dream about lasagna with a side of spaghetti followed by chocolate mousse…you might should take the comfort level challenge…NOW!
And remember…it is quite fine to not be comfortable in skinny jeans with zippers and buttons! You are far more beautiful when you are smiling! Trust me…there are not smiles when you are in pain!
Comfort Level Estimator Challenge:
***The challenge is strictly a product of kindergartenknowledge…no research needed…personal experience is of paramount importance!***
#1. When wearing skinny jeans, you can pull them on without even using the zipper or buttons. Yes…they are the right size. No pain here.
#2. You had to try on five pairs of skinny jeans to find the exact fit. However, you did find the perfect fit. Again…no obvious pain.
#3. It was a bit difficult fitting the skinny jeans over your thighs. Thanks to elastic like material…you finally stretched them over those thighs. No worry. Surely, surely…they will stretch out. Slight pain when walking. More pain when walking up stairs. Sitting may not be a good idea.
#4. You might need help with the thunder thigh issue. Take a friend to help you pull the material. Remember about the elastic like material. Sigh of relief. They are up. There is a malfunction with the button. The zipper issue requires a second friend. Choose a strong friend. You better have soup for dinner. Pain level: advancing at a fast pace.
#5. Move up three sizes. I know, I know…it is so very disturbing that jean sizes are not consistent. Blame it on the manufacturer. Three sizes up and the thigh problem has disappeared. The skinny jeans look like “extra comfy” and “move easily” jeans…the kind you would wear if you needed to move furniture around while doing cartwheels. Pain level: serious because of the embarrassment.
#6. Nothing to do but go back down two sizes. At least, the size is smaller. You can let the size label hang out. Your helpful friends have gone to get a snack at the food court…just when you needed them. Two sizes smaller and there is no way that you can ever pull them over your rather small tummy…once was small tummy. Well…these skinny jeans are a different brand. That is why the tummy problem. Surely. Without your helper friends, you cannot pull them to your waist…it was hard enough to pull them over the thighs. You are out of breath. You need a drink of water. Your hands hurt from the push/pull workout. Pain level: complete and total exhaustion.
#7. You realize that skinny jeans are just not worth it today. Maybe they are not worth it this year. Note to self: throw out the fashion magazines. Face reality.
Pain level: None. You accept the truth… you may be ready for the elastic waist pants…the kind grandmothers wear.
And most everyone loves grandmothers!